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Tiger Talk
Published: 6/22/2009 5:00 PM
Last Modified: 6/22/2009 5:00 PM

Here's the way network TV covers Tiger Woods.

"Tom has some breaking news from near the eleventh fairway."

"Thanks, Johnny. You won't believe what just happened. It just rained on Tiger Woods and nobody else. He was right in the middle of his backswing, and some rain fell right on his head and hands. Otherwise he wouldn't have hit it 50 yards off line to the right."

"Tiger is on the 12th green. Let's go to Dan."

"Thanks, Johnny. After what happened on ten, when there was a slight earthquake that caused Tiger to miss that three-footer, and after the rock ball on nine, when a small pebble was actually embedded on the underside of Tiger's ball in the fairway, causing the duck hook, let's hope he gets an even break here."

"Dan, have you heard any more about Tiger wearing different socks and that the slippage caused the four-putt on one?"

"No, Johnny. And I need to get quieter here as Tiger lines up the six-footer that could bring him a shot closer to the bums at the top of the leader board."

"This putt could also help our ratings, Dan."

"That it could, Johhny. Did you feel that?"

"Feel what, Dan?"

"The wind is gusting three-quarters of a mile harder, at least."

"Tiger hasn't had a lick of luck in six straight majors."

"This putt should break about one inch to the left. It's on it's way....."

"Go....!"

"Hurry.....!"

"Oh no.....!"

"Blow wind.....!"

"It hit a rock, Dan."

"I thought it hit a bird, Johnny."

"Well. Tiger is still only 14 shots off the lead."

"Plenty of time left, Johnny."

"Yep, 14 shots behind, six holes to play, he's right there. Now let's go out to 15, where What's-His-Name, the leader, got another good bounce."






Reader Comments 13 Total
Barleybaby (4 years ago)
Yup, the picker gets one right!
ken7 (4 years ago)
sssshhhhhhh.......Tiger is taking a whiz and needs complete silence!!
MexiMike (4 years ago)
I'm sure the press never covered Nicklaus this way.

Never.
Lance-a-lot (4 years ago)
Now THAT was funny. So true.

Just replace Woods with Obama, and golf with politics, and you have our media love affair with the chosen one!
The Picker (4 years ago)
Here's some more stuff to think about.

It could be important.

How is it possible that Tiger Woods has not come from behind to win a single major?

That is one of the most amazing facts in sports.

Even the second greatest player of all time HAS to be able to win one major from behind.

Here's what it looks like: Tiger's shots are much different when he is ahead by five instead of behind by five. He is a great front runner. That's because when you are head by four or five, there's a margin for error. When you're down three or four, everything is pressurized. So it is possible that Tiger, along with the rest of this group of possible sissies, chokes more than did the previous generation.

Jack came from behind to win majors, Arnie did, Player, Trevino.

Coming from behind to win a major is a requirement of being the best.

It's very possible that the previous group of great golfers was simply tougher.

Speaking of the goofy urge to call somebody the best ever: How can tennis player Federer be considered the best ever when he isn't even the best NOW?
MexiMike (4 years ago)
Although your point about Tiger not being able to win from behind is valid, I would say playing in front by only a stroke or two is just as tough.

I think anyone who plays golf on the tour would agree that gaining the lead is difficult but KEEPING that lead while fending off others is what makes you a champion.
TMS (4 years ago)
Picker, you have it exactly correct on Tiger and the media. If Tiger isn't winning, it isn't a golf match to them. What ever happended to suspense in an athletic contest. The media and most fans want it 56-0.
Quiescence (4 years ago)
I'm actually surprised the Picker didn't complain that Barnes didn't foul Glover while he was still up 3. :)
Octavio (4 years ago)
The Picker nails it! I'm waiting for the day when tiger demands everyone in the gallery quit breathing until after he hits his ball.
hootie (4 years ago)
The media's b@tt kissing of Tiger is ALMOST as bad as the local media's b@tt kissing of uo atletics!
T Bone (4 years ago)
Tiger's a good golfer, but even good golfers get older, get hurt and lose their desire to be the very best. The media just turns me off and I expect Tiger to walk on water and retrieve his ball when it goes in the drink.
The Picker (4 years ago)
Has Tiger seemed slightly less eager since wedding bells fell?
MexiMike (4 years ago)
"Has Tiger seemed slightly less eager since wedding bells fell?"

No. In fact, he won a major after being married...on a hapless leg that any one of us would have been immobile with. How is that less eager?

He isn't even 6 months recovered from major surgery...maybe you are jumping the gun a bit, Pick.
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Out Pick The Picker

The Picker began entertaining – and infuriating – sports fans in 1993. Each week during football season, he writes about his picks of college and NFL games in his Thursday Sports column. He's never afraid of sharing his opinions about the game and the personalities who play it. Readers have a chance to go against him each season in the Outpick the Picker contest. He welcomes the competition.

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