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Tiger Who?
Published: 4/9/2012 4:25 PM
Last Modified: 4/11/2012 11:19 AM

Tiger Woods. DAVID J. PHILLIP/AP

The Masters golf tournament is a tradition unlike any other for the following reasons.

Women aren't allowed to become members. Hey AT&T, you're a big sponsor, you hate women too?

Few if any minorities are "patrons" in the "audiences." The Masters is one of the whitest sporting events on earth, Khakiville, all the rich kids in their J Crew gear.

Aging and fading former feared golfer Tiger Woods is permitted to use God's name in vain over Easter weekend, and throw and kick clubs.
Virtually overnight this character has gone from being a temperamental genius to a punk with diminishing skills.

Announcer Jim Nantz unleashes his Schlock and Awe routine again, framing a bunch of spoiled brats with over-written slop.

Fake birdies cheep in the background.

The Masters is a go-against-fest, a tournament where there is great joy to be had in pulling against your own particular Big Three Chump list:
Tiger, in this case, and mini-pest Sergio, the Ryder Cup gnat who couldn't win a game of miniature golf on his own, and Pinkie Poulter, another Euro who earns a living in this country, then acts like a clown in team competitions matching countries.

Once the bores are on the also-ran board, you can watch a few holes of tourney golf.

Reader Comments

5 Total

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Ferris Bueller (10 months ago)

Pick, why would you allow Tiger's behavior to keep you from one of the best finishes in Masters history. Bubba is the antithesis of everything you just wrote about. Louis' double eagle on two and Bubba's finishing chips were testaments that exciting golf still exists whether Tiger is on or not.

Mar (10 months ago)

Yep, Tiger isn't the end all golfer. He's never been the same since the "incident".

241362 (10 months ago)

Muni guy wins a playoff with a par, big deal.

Blue Max (10 months ago)

You must have missed his second shot of that par hole.

The Picker (10 months ago)

Ferris, despite the finish of your lifetime, the ratings were down enormously. At least it was good to see that OSU guy on TV again, Fowler, congratulating the winner. Somebody said he had given up golf.

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The Picker began entertaining – and infuriating – sports fans in 1993. Each week during football season, he writes about his picks of college and NFL games in his Thursday Sports column. He's never afraid of sharing his opinions about the game and the personalities who play it. Readers have a chance to go against him each season in the Outpick the Picker contest. He welcomes the competition.

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