Tulsa World: Courtesy is free, timeless, profitable

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Courtesy is free, timeless, profitable

By HARVEY MACKEY United Feature Syndicate
Published: 10/4/2009 2:23 AM
Last Modified: 10/4/2009 4:42 AM

Rudeness rules the headlines these days, and we can't escape it. Crudeness is the norm rather than the exception. Can we even call ourselves a civilized society anymore?

From the hallowed halls of Congress to the tennis world to TV talk shows to music awards. What are these people thinking? That no one will notice? That their behavior won't have a profound effect on their futures?

I would refer all these offenders to a few hours of Disney movies, where the Golden Rule prevails and conversation is G-rated and uplifting. Bambi's little friend Thumper could teach them all a lesson: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."

There is always a dignified way to get your point across, and you won't end up having to apologize or explain your actions. People actually listen to reasoned arguments.

In a business setting, where those we deal with don't necessarily have to deal with us again, rudeness or disrespectful behavior is never a good option. A lapse in judgment can easily translate to a collapse in business. Word travels fast, and your reputation is at stake. Your future is at stake.

Practice self-control at every opportunity. You may not have much control over a situation, but you can control how you respond to it.

A Carnegie Foundation study once found that only 15 percent of a businessperson's success could be attributed to job knowledge and skills. A whopping 85 percent of one's success could be determined by the "ability to deal with people" and "attitude."

The lesson for anyone wanting to get ahead and still get a point across is that self-control and consideration are critical ingredients. The "scorekeepers" in business are not so different from the line judges and umpires in tennis; you will lose points if you lose control.

"No one characteristic will help one to advance, whether in business or society, as politeness," said B. C. Forbes, founder of Forbes Magazine.

As Mark Twain observed: "Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity — these are strictly confined to man; he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing; they are not ashamed. Man, with his soiled mind, covers himself. He will not even enter a drawing room with his breast and back naked, so alive are he and his mates to indecent suggestion. ... Man is the animal that blushes. He is the only one that does it — or has occasion to."

It's OK to make waves; it isn't necessary to drown the other person. But lose your cool, lose your temper, lose control, and you'll find you are the one who's all wet.

Mackay's Moral: Giving someone a piece of your mind rarely gives you peace of mind.

Harvey Mackay can be reached through his Web site, tulsaworld.com/mackay, or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co, 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414. By HARVEY MACKEY United Feature Syndicate

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