Tulsa World: Spread the word: Stop gossiping

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Spread the word: Stop gossiping

By HARVEY MACKAY United Feautres Syndicate
Published: 11/29/2009 2:22 AM
Last Modified: 11/29/2009 9:47 AM

Someone has calculated that, if a rumor was started at midday, and was repeated within two seconds by everyone who heard it to two other people, who repeated it and kept the cycle going, by about 6:30 p.m. the same day everyone on Earth would have heard it.

Of course, the Internet has brought gossiping up to warp speed. A rumor posted online can make it around the world in milliseconds. And although the post may seem anonymous and, therefore, "safe," the damage is potentially irreparable. Snopes, the urban legends reference site, can't debunk everything, after all.

Office gossip in particular is a major concern for a number of reasons. The Triple Filter Test could prevent plenty of misunderstandings and hard feelings in the workplace, where teamwork and cooperation are often central to productivity. How does someone work with another who insists on passing along information that may not be true, good or useful?

Spreading rumors about co-workers can create a hostile environment that customers will pick up on. This is a good reason for avoiding gossip. Plus the fact that I've seen many deals go down, due to gossip.

As advice columnist Dear Abby said, "It is almost impossible to throw dirt on someone without getting a little on yourself."

So clean up your act! The Triple Filter Test is simple to use. Truth alone is not enough reason to spread gossip. Who doesn't have an embarrassing truth that they want to remain private? And while good news may seem harmless enough, is it your news to share? But perhaps the most compelling reason to avoid gossip is the usefulness test. How will the information be used? I'm betting it won't be for positive reasons.

Maybe you've heard about the three ministers who went fishing. They were good friends, each of whom was a pastor at a different church in the same town. While they were fishing, they began confessing their sins to each other.

The first pastor said, "Do you know what my big sin is? My big sin is drinking. I know it's wrong, but every Friday night I drive to a city where no one will recognize me, and I go to a saloon and get drunk. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. It's my big sin."

The second pastor said, "Well, to be honest with you, I've got a big sin, too. My big sin is gambling. As a matter of fact, you know all the money I raised for that mission trip to India? I took it to Las Vegas instead and lost it all. I'm so ashamed. My big sin is gambling."

Finally it was the third pastor's turn. He said, "Guys, I probably should have gone first, because my big sin is gossiping."

Mackay's Moral : A word can be more powerful than a sword.

Harvey Mackay can be reached through his Web site, tulsaworld.com/mackay , or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co, 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.

By HARVEY MACKAY United Feautres Syndicate

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If you see a comment that violates our terms and conditions, please help us by clicking the "Report this Comment" link next to a comment. That will alert the web staff to review the comment. Thank you. -- Web Editor Jason Collington

	Report Comment Thunder196, Tulsa (11/30/2009 12:48:36 AM) WORDS OF WISDOM . "The most destructive force in the universe is gossip" . (Taken from Amarillo College Fencing Association web site.)
	Report Comment 2ndjoyce, BA (11/30/2009 12:58:38 AM) A dagger in the heart...
	Report Comment Elusive, Owasso (11/30/2009 1:21:22 AM) Good one Mackey, throughly enjoyed.

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