Tulsa World: Project aims to keep eye on youth

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Project aims to keep eye on youth
Front Porch aims to give tools to help people get involved in their community.

By MIKE AVERILL World Staff Writer
Published: 8/24/2009 2:26 AM
Last Modified: 8/24/2009 3:44 AM

From complimenting parents on doing a good job to offering them a break from their kids when they get stressed, there are many simple things that can have lasting, positive effects on children.

That's the theory behind the Front Porch Project, an initiative developed by the American Humane Association, a Denver-based organization dedicated to protecting children and animals, that is being implemented by the Parent Child Center of Tulsa.

"It's about empowering individuals to become more involved in the lives of the children in their community," said Kathleen Benfield, project coordinator with the Parent Child Center. "The philosophy is the philosophy of the power of one."

The program is a throwback to the days when communities gathered on the front porch to share information and keep an eye on what was going on in the neighborhood.

"I attribute it to air conditioning and people's fear of getting involved," she said. "You get home at night, the garage door goes up, you drive in and the garage door goes down. All the family action is in the back, so you don't get to know your neighbor."

The Front Porch Project encourages people to become more involved and also gives people the tools to use in the community.

"So many times we're faced with situations in the grocery store, shopping malls or walking down the street where we want to help, but don't know what to do," Benfield said.

Free two-day training sessions are open to anyone interested in helping children, either groups or individuals.

"We're talking to neighborhood associations, youth groups, faith-based groups, anyone interested in helping keep an eye on children," Benfield said.

During the first day of training, participants discuss parenting styles, ways to intervene, role play and come up with a plan on implementing what they've learned.

The second day of training is four to six weeks later and is a chance for people to discuss their action plans and any roadblocks they might have encountered.

One tactic that is stressed is a simple gesture of encouragement.

Benfield recalled a recent trip to the grocery store where she observed a father with his three children who were behaving well, but laughing loudly and having a good time.

"You could hear their laughter all over the store. I was struck by how patient and attentive he was," she said. "I walked up to him and he was prepared for something negative. I told him he had done a wonderful job. His face just lit up and it was a true Front Porch moment. Six months ago, I wouldn't have been comfortable doing that."

Tulsa is the first city in the state to have an agency implement the program and the second in the country.

Devereux Kids, Inc. in Clearwater, Fla., was the first to start the program and it has affected the lives of more than 20,000, Benfield said.

"I think the Front Porch Project will help us recreate a neighborhood or community culture that truly cares for kids. I fully expect Tulsa will be able to achieve the same level of awareness and willingness to help support families in positive ways," said Desiree Doherty, executive director of the Parent Child Center.

Doherty said the initiative is an outgrowth of the agency's view of how supportive relationships have to exist for positive change to happen.

"There are so many opportunities for concerned adults to intervene and offer positive support," she said. "We haven't forgotten how to do that; we've become reluctant to do that. The Front Porch Project restores the willingness and awareness to do so.

"It turns out being easy and feeling pretty good for both you and the person you offer an encouraging word to. We've learned to be pretty vocal when we're unhappy or dissatisfied, but haven't been aren't vocal about the things that are positive because we want to take it for granted that it's normal."

For more information, call 599-7999 or e-mail kbdnfield@parentchildcenter.org.

Ways to benefit your community

Offer to babysit the children of a parent who is under stress.

Talk quietly to a parent who is on the verge of becoming angry with a child.

Volunteer at or donate to a child- or family-serving agency.

Advocate for afterschool activities for children.

Let parents know when you see a positive interaction take place between them and their child.

Show support and empathy for a child or parent by smiling or offering help.

Get to know your neighbors and their children.

Mike Averill 581-8489
mike.averill@tulsaworld.com By MIKE AVERILL World Staff Writer

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	Report Comment Harold Brookens 1, Tulsa (8/24/2009 8:01:28 PM) Sounds good but hum...how many of these people are gonna turn into pseudo DHS case workers. Reeking havoc in neighborhoods and communities by making onerous child abuse claims and accusations to authorities. I'm not trying to be negative here. I just foresee troubles and problems caused by well intended people who just become misguided and a bit overzealous and self righteous in their belief their saving a child. Caution is warranted here.
	Report Comment Centrist, very close to Tulsa (8/24/2009 8:37:58 PM) I understand your point Harold and agree there could be some overzealous parents because we all have different parenting styles and of course everyone thinks theirs is the right one. On the other hand there is training provided and for parents that could use the extra help, guidance or break from their kids being overstressed for whatever reason it could be a godsend for the children. The part about "Talk quietly to a parent who is on the verge of becoming angry with a child" concerns me if they are talking about walking up to a total stranger and doing this as much as we all want to, the parent will likely tell you to mind your own business and or try to embarass you in front of others. It's definitely a touchy subject when you are talking about interferring in other parents behavior toward their kids. I can see both positive and negative aspects of it. The Police know what abuse is so if someone reports someone yelling at their kids in a store they will probably blow off, although bad they are not physically abusing them which I think would be of most concern.
	Report Comment Harold Brookens 1, Tulsa (8/24/2009 10:59:08 PM) I know they need to go forward with this. I'm of the belief if just one child or family can be helped it over shadows all the negative. As much as we would like to save and help. You an I can best do so one child at a time. We pray grace and GOD will help the rest.

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