Tulsa World: Survey reveals struggles

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Survey reveals struggles

Youths gather in a circle during a meeting at Openarms Youth Project. CORY YOUNG/Tulsa World

By BILL SHERMAN World Religion Writer
Published: 11/7/2009 2:20 AM
Last Modified: 11/7/2009 3:55 AM

View a copy of the Tulsa reaches out LGBTQ Youth Coalition Survey.

Watch video interviews with families and individuals affected by suicide, and hear how they continue to cope. Learn more about the warning signs of suicide and resources for getting help.

Related story: Inside Openarms, all are welcomed.

Ben Crittenden was not shocked by a survey suggesting nearly 40 percent of gay, lesbian or bisexual young Tulsans have attempted suicide.

"It doesn't really surprise me," the Catoosa High School junior said.

"Coming from my own experience, before I came out I had thoughts of suicide because I wanted to be accepted in the world," he said.

Crittenden was one of about 150 young people who filled out an informal online survey sponsored by Tulsa Reaches Out, an organization that promotes the social service needs of Tulsa's "LGBTQ" (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning) community.

He said he realized he was gay at age 13 and came out at age 15.

"Most of the school knows it now. Things

are good. I don't get discriminated against, and I don't get rude comments."

He was mentioned in a recent New York Times Magazine article about junior high school students coming out.

Michelle Hoffman, chairwoman of the Tulsa Reaches Out advisory board, said the Tulsa survey was prepared by Chad Johnson of the University of Oklahoma and made available online.

More than 100 of the respondents filled out the poll on computers at Openarms Youth Project, a center for gay, lesbian and bisexual youth and their supportive friends at 2015 S. Lakewood Ave.

Most of the respondents were anonymous, and 21 percent identified themselves as heterosexual.

Hoffman said she found three areas of the survey particularly disturbing: questions about suicide, bullying and religious institutions.

"We were alarmed by the number of respondents who indicated that they had thought about or attempted suicide," she said.

Sixty-seven percent of respondents reported having suicidal thoughts or feelings, and 39 percent said they had attempted suicide.

"The main thing that worried me was that so many have considered suicide," said Tim Gillean, founder of the Openarms Youth Project. "That's because of harassment and bullying they get at school and, in some cases, at home."

A U.S. Department of Health and Human Services publication says that gay adolescent males are two to three times as likely to commit suicide as their peers.

In the Tulsa survey, about half of the respondents said they felt safe at school, and 34 percent said they did not.

Half said they had been bullied at school.

Hoffman said she was alarmed by the response when asked to identify people who had stepped in to stop a bullying situation.

"A tremendous number of teachers and counselors did not intervene," Hoffman said.

Respondents said 17 percent had witnessed a school principal intervene, 29 percent a school counselor and 41 percent a teacher.

Hoffman said she was alarmed many gay, lesbian and bisexual young people find no solace in their religious institutions.

Three percent said they had turned to religious institutions for support, and 30 percent said they did not feel safe at church. About 21 percent said their pastors or ministers had been somewhat supportive to very supportive.

Gillean, a lifelong Tulsan and self-employed interior designer, founded the youth center seven years ago "to provide a safe place, where they can be free from judgment, be who they are, and express themselves however they want.

"We give them a sense that they're part of a larger community. That helps create a higher self-esteem and empowers them to be who they are."

Survey discussion

Chad Johnson, assistant professor in human relations at the University of Oklahoma-Tulsa, will discuss the Tulsa reaches out LGBTQ survey at an interfaith breakfast from 8:30 to 10 a.m. Thursday at Fellowship Congregational Church, 2900 S. Harvard Ave. To make a reservation, contact Karen Davis by Wednesday at 494-8823 or KLDavis@Tulsacf.org.

Bill Sherman 581-8398
bill.sherman@tulsaworld.com By BILL SHERMAN World Religion Writer

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	Report Comment FIRE GUNDY, TULSA (11/7/2009 8:55:03 AM) And the bigot of the day award goes to......
	Report Comment Sanity, Broken Arrow (11/8/2009 1:21:33 AM) I have heard it said that gays are not gay. It must be true. I think the ideal relationship is one loving sex partner for life. Gays don't think that way.
	Report Comment Few Clothes, America (11/7/2009 8:00:02 AM) How many succeeded?
	Report Comment Few Clothes, America (11/7/2009 8:01:43 AM) I'm not being catty, I just would like to know.
	Report Comment Tim Denver, Denver (11/9/2009 3:11:47 PM) Let's see, you're a young person, gay, living in the bible belt, surrounding by homophobic, bible thumpers, feeling like you have nowhere else to go.....I think the numbers are probably inflated, however. Being gay is not a choice. it is simply who you are. We have an obligation to ourselves and to society in general to accept people for who they are, and value humanlife equally, be it gay/straight or whatever. The hateful comments being thrown around by homophobes is pathetic. Anyway, Marine2.0, what leads you to believe being gay is a choice? What, when you were on the verge of reaching puberty did you get a packet of material from the U. S. Department of Sexual Orientation?
	Report Comment FUTURE WORLD, Tulsa (11/7/2009 8:07:32 PM) And I say, other peoples sexual orientation and desires are non of my business. I judge not the sexual preferences of my friends or family. They are making choices for themselves and those choices should be respected by all.
	Report Comment FUTURE WORLD, Tulsa (11/8/2009 1:26:55 AM) Sanity I don't really care. For me a persons sexual orientation is none of my business. Should it be yours?
	Report Comment Mr. Brown, Kanagawa, Japan (11/9/2009 9:03:13 PM) A female Navy Seal? Amazing.
	Report Comment Justun, tulsa (11/7/2009 3:03:19 PM) Few Clothes, America (11/7/2009 8:01:43 AM) I'm not being catty, I just would like to know. I'd say not very many if they were able to take the survey...
	Report Comment godless, (11/8/2009 11:48:21 AM) you said - "If someone gave me a hard time about being heterosexual I don't think I'd ever consider suicide. How many black people consider suicide because of racisim? How many Jews have killed themselves because they couldn't deal with anti-semitism?" Blacks and Jews don't have christians constantly saying things like "you are an abomination to God" or "You're going straight to hell for your lifestyle." you said "Even nature teaches us this is wrong." It does? Same-sex coupling occurs in the wild within many species.... what "nature" are you referring to?" you said "I think the ideal relationship is one loving sex partner for life. Gays don't think that way." They don't? Every gay or lesbian friend that I have has been in a committed relationship longer than most heterosexual friends that I have. The fact that gay or lesbian individuals might be seen as "bed hoppers" could be a result of the restrictions forced upon them by those who dislike their lifestyle - how many single heterosexuals do you know that remain with a partner outside of marriage for more than a few years? Single people date - and rarely devote their lives to a single partner until they commit to marriage. Marriage between gays and lesbians, as we know, is fairly new to the community as an option.
	Report Comment sr71v3, (11/8/2009 8:22:37 PM) It's a sad commentary that these kids are into something so depraved it gives them thoughts of suicide. Homosexuality is anything but GAY.
	Report Comment sr71v3, (11/9/2009 9:08:15 PM) Rocketman - " I am going to closely inspect my wife tonight. What should I look for?" Rocket, I'd be glad to help if you're confused :)
	Report Comment Rocketman, Tulsa (11/9/2009 3:31:28 PM) Well, I have finally come to realize we need gay people. What would we do for interior decorators and hair stylist if we did not have gay men? Oh, and fashion designers and habadashers. When I am shopping for clothes I always look for the most effeminate man in the store to help me. HGTV and TLC would have to drastically change their programing if they could not find enough gay men to dress up the ladies and do the interiors of homes. We would not have many female stand up comics either or anyone to go see WNBA games or watch the LPGA. Is there anyone I forgot to mention?
	Report Comment Rocketman, Tulsa (11/9/2009 6:00:31 PM) Shauna, you are kidding me right? I am going to closely inspect my wife tonight. What should I look for?
	Report Comment tbgalileo, Tulsa (11/7/2009 11:41:39 AM) Marine, you seem to be falling back on the good 'ol argument that if they "choose" to be gay, then they "choose" to endure discrimination and harassment. Personally, I can't believe that people continue to think that sexual orientation is some "choice" that people randomly make, and even if it were, that "normal" folk have some inherent right to spit on someone for being different. As far as bullying being an innate human nature, I call bs on that. Prejudice is very much taught and socialized. It is not natural to hate someone who is absolutely no threat to you in any way, simply to pad your own ego. And yes, discrimination against gay people is very much rooted in religion, regarless of whether that is your personal motivation or not.
	Report Comment DelawareSooner, Newark, DE (11/12/2009 1:50:35 PM) Wow. This forum hasn't turned ridiculously hateful. What gives, folks? I'm in agreement with the others who posted that, given the fact they're taking a survey, suicide didn't work out...
	Report Comment DelawareSooner, Newark, DE (11/12/2009 10:32:06 PM) I stand corrected.
	Report Comment aint missbehavin, .. (11/7/2009 2:18:54 PM) Well,I know probably where Im headed.Thats ok with me,knowing that I was just as nice to the gay fella buyin cig.as I was to the Jahovah witness's that leave their plamplets,as I was to the woman with the big diamond rings,as I was to the woman with the dirty bellyshirt and a half doz.kids.Now,this religious stuff ya got goin on just aint right,I'll tell ya that....I believe in the goodness of the lord.I believe that through Jesus Christ,everyone has a chance to go before his father thy God,through this everyone is equal until that day comes....If'n I wrong,I only have one request.....Thats to hold the door for and to be the last one in there when he fires up the ole grill.....God's gonna getcha,,,,,actually...He's just gonna judge.
	Report Comment aint missbehavin, .. (11/7/2009 2:52:18 PM) Marine 2.0 is allowed to there opinion.Its rather a little matter of thats what ya can here.If not,then push that button.Thats my story and Im stickin to it.
	Report Comment psychedelikrelik, Tulsa (11/7/2009 6:35:21 PM) Young people, gay, straight or undecided, listen up! Suicide is not the answer. My first husband and father of my daughter committed suicide six years ago. It was the single most selfish act I can imagine. Don't be like that, be like ME! I will never even consider suicide, because it's what "they" want! If you off yourself, they're off the hook, you are no longer their problem. Show "THEM" by staying alive and being a pain in their @ $ $ forever!
	Report Comment psychedelikrelik, Tulsa (11/7/2009 6:38:45 PM) "Even nature teaches us this is wrong. I don't see how anyone could see this as acceptable. Whether religious beliefs or not. Common sense tells you it is wrong." Statements like this are evidence of the lack of support for science education in our state.
	Report Comment psychedelikrelik, Tulsa (11/8/2009 2:20:15 PM) "I think the ideal relationship is one loving sex partner for life. Gays don't think that way." Nuh-uh. Stop generalizing. My sis-in-law was with her long-time life partner until death did them part. My bro-in-law and his partner have been together in an exclusive relationship for many years.
	Report Comment psychedelikrelik, Tulsa (11/12/2009 1:56:24 PM) "...deal with reality for a change." Listen, fld11, I HAVE been dealing with the reality for six years now! The reality of losing my partner of over 20 years. The reality of raising our daughter without her beloved daddy. You need to take your hateful ignorance and shove it where the sun don't shine, buddy.
	Report Comment psychedelikrelik, Tulsa (11/12/2009 1:57:14 PM) The VICTIMS are those left behind.
	Report Comment WeThePeople, Tulsa (11/7/2009 1:53:01 PM) There is something really sick about 9th graders thinking it is kewl to be gay. This shows me that being gay is a learned behavior. You cannot equate being gay to being a different race. The reason gays are committing suicide at such a high rate is because, as it says in the book of Romans, chapter 1: God is giving those who engage in homosexuality up to a debased mind. Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetedness, etc. Who knowing the judgement of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them. So we know that this type of behavior is judged by God. To let our children think, or accept, that homosexuality is "normal" is doing them a grave spiritual injustice. The suicide rate is evidence that there are spiritual consequences.

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