007, (9/15/2009 8:24:53 AM)

And while your at it, why don't you right wing bible thumping red necks at the capital study why we lead in not just divorce, but poverty, meth, drop out rates, teen pregancy and mobile home trailer parks!!!!!

peladac, Sand Springs (9/15/2009 8:45:44 AM)

Oh please as much crap as the dems throw in our faces, c'mon. I'm a conservative and disagree with this. Been through counseling only to walk out after my ex blatantly said he didn't want to know how I was feeling. Counseling for a couple where one is verbally abusive? Calling their spouse stupid, yelling at kids, who needs the counseling. What needs to happen is when divorce is the option, make the one with anger problem go through an anger management class. Yes, it's sad that there are so many divorces, but until people "want" to change and truly love their partner, no one should force this upon anyone. Most politicians on all sides don't listen to the people and enforce stupid wasteful laws. Hey Oklahoma politicians, how about "enforcing" our immigration laws first!

SS_Hippy, Tulsa (9/15/2009 8:47:05 AM)

well, if you want to study divorce and teenage pregnancies Oklahoma would be a good place to start.

douglassm, tulsa (9/15/2009 9:00:48 AM)

hahahaha

oldrustytulsa, Tulsa (9/15/2009 9:00:49 AM)

Yeah, just watch and see the divorce lawyers, come up another great idea, what a bunch of scum bags.

okierose, Glenpool (9/15/2009 9:10:12 AM)

peladac,

My story is similar. Divorce was the BEST option. Counseling was a game to my ex.

Moses, Jenks (9/15/2009 9:13:16 AM)

I don't remember having all of these problems before government invaded our personal lives!
When I was in school we started each day with the Lord's Prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance to our flag.
We went to the school in the district which we lived in, no bussing!
If a girl became pregnant it was shameful, she was required to leave public school and finish school at a home for unwed mothers.
The babies were usually given up for adoption to people who had the financial means to raise them, love them and give them a good life.
There should be penalties for unwise decisions. Lord knows it is not in the best interest of these babies to be raised by teenage mothers who aren’t through with their parties and social life!
Kids respected all adults and especially their parents and teachers, if they didn’t they were punished.
Contrary to popular belief children don’t have any rights until they graduate from high school.
It was understood that we lived by our parent’s rules as long as we lived at home.
We didn’t become completely independent until we moved out of mom & dad’s house and started our own life by our own rules with our own money!!!
If the family abuses the children then that problem is dealt with by law enforcement.
Oh how I long for the days of long ago when life was so much better, before government started controlling everything we do!

2ndjoyce, BA (9/15/2009 9:13:19 AM)

If couples prepared as much for marriage as they do for the actual wedding day they would have a solid shot at being successful. - not my original thought. I heard it somewhere but don't remember the source.

Bullhead, Nicut (9/15/2009 9:37:01 AM)

joyce, I think if they made what you just stated into a law, we'd have more solid marriages in our state.

Plan, have meetings with your clergy for 6 months before taking the expensive plunge.

notyourfriend, (9/15/2009 9:44:47 AM)

Make divorce illegal, you chose to repeat the words till death do us part! Well your still alive.

golfwife, (9/15/2009 9:54:59 AM)

Moses, well stated. Your post is perfect and covered all bases.

okierose, Glenpool (9/15/2009 10:04:24 AM)

notyourfriend, (9/15/2009 9:44:47 AM)
Make divorce illegal, you chose to repeat the words till death do us part! Well your still alive.

Guess you have never been battered. I didn't particularly enjoy the black eyes I received. Plus my ex has filed bankruptcy twice since we divorced. He has bad at everything, and I mean everything.

noise, (9/15/2009 11:01:17 AM)

Amen Moses!

lucky girl, mine (9/15/2009 11:33:28 AM)

Well, if husbands could keep their junk in the trunk there wouldn't be nearly as much divorce period. And I agree with what 007 said, sort of....they need to find a way to get more jobs to this state and not waste our tax dollars on this.

Mich098, Tulsa (9/15/2009 11:48:54 AM)

Moses--Pleeease! Government is the problem and the cause of divorce!? What planet did you fly in from?

Collaberative divorce is just another attempt by the "women be obedient to your husbands" group to control, demean and deprive women to the advantage of the male spouse.

lucky girl, mine (9/15/2009 11:51:20 AM)

SR71 You are too kind.

my view, Sand Springs (9/15/2009 11:59:39 AM)

No law or rules will make two people love and respect one another. The more hurdles you put up the more it cost, the children pay that cost.

The only thing the state needs to do, is see to it that the parent that doesn't have custody of the children pay their child support regularity and on time.

Other than that, butt out. Peoples private life's are just that, private.

SteveD, Tulsa (9/15/2009 12:12:49 PM)

SR71, My wife IS definately a gift from God. She has stood by me through a liver transplant and 38 day's on life support and also another 38 day's in the hospital for respiratory failure (too many cigarettes I guess) and she is still with me after almost 33 years. How many other women do you think would do THAT?

mh, (9/15/2009 12:25:06 PM)

Ways to limit unwed birthrates. They could start by making every person who already has children in DHS custody get spayed or neutered!

flyingtheo, Broken Arrow (9/15/2009 12:30:38 PM)

Divorce was definitely my best option after finding my ex stealing all of my prescription pain killers after my surgery, lying about her not smoking in our home, running up all of our credit cards, but the topper was finding all of her love notes to her lover. Good riddance, freedom is a wonderful thing.

moon, shine (9/15/2009 12:31:14 PM)

People change and not always for the better..a man will usually be able to hide his"true colors" for appx. a year to a year and a half. After that I suggest a good pair of running shoes.

LC, (9/15/2009 12:39:17 PM)

mh: i agree with you whole-heartedly. some time back there was an article in one of the papers (okc or tulsa) about a young girl, in her teens, who was in trouble for something. anyway, here she was still in her teens 17 or somewhere along that line and she already had 3 or four children. guess who's probably paying for all of that? the handouts need to stop! this mentality that i'll have all the kinds i want and not worry about supporting them cause i can get on welfare is ridiculous.

lucky girl, mine (9/15/2009 12:40:56 PM)

flyingtheo, sounds like you did the right thing. Maybe I should have done that instead of trying to work it out and hoping that he wouldn't do all the same old stuff again, I was not right and my children have suffered. It's been about a year since his last "oops" and I can't take another one.

Ayo, T-Town (9/15/2009 12:44:13 PM)

I don't recall being traumatically affected by prayer in school. That said, it sure didn't change the fact that many girls I knew were pregnant before the end of 10th grade.

You want to decrease the teen births? Support these ideals: 1) start early in teaching girls to have self-respect by treating them respectfully, 2) parents, don't let your daughters wear those self-depreciating t-shirts from Abercrombie that say things like this: "yeah I had you, now get lost", (yes I saw a pretty young teenager wearing such a shirt) 3) sex happens, get over over it, and start teaching your kids sex ed at a very early age, 4) start supporting places like Planned Parenthood that will allow your teenage daughter to get BC for a cheaper price. Yes, she's going to do it without your permission. Some start very, very early and being in church every Sunday WILL NOT stop them. 5) teach your teenage boys to not try to poke everything that walks.

You want to lower the divorce rate? Don't get married. I didn't, and I never missed it. Want a long term relationship? Keep separate residences. Okay, that's drastic, but it works for me.

Most of you are going to want to be married. Just make sure your endorphins have decreased back to the 'before you fell head over heels stage'. Those far*s, burps, and pis* on the front of the commode is way less attractive then.

Ayo, T-Town (9/15/2009 12:48:26 PM)

LC, a 17 y/o young girl with 3 or 4 kids has almost certainly been sexually abused. Most girls that get promiscuous at a very young age have been victims of incestual rape. Just remember that before you pass judgement about who's paying for it all.