Tulsa World: Tomfoolery and stupid pet tricks

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Tomfoolery and stupid pet tricks

By JULIE DELCOUR Associate Editor
Published: 10/18/2009 2:28 AM
Last Modified: 10/18/2009 4:39 AM

Decades ago, humorist Robert Benchley wrote a clever essay about a black-footed penguin who, while clowning for admirers at the New York Aquarium, slipped on a marshmallow and sprained its ankle.

The penguin's pratfall should remind us, Benchley observed, that "no one of God's creatures, however smart, is immune from loss of dignity. No one is infallible."

Beavers can chip teeth. Squirrels can fall out of trees. Ants toting 50 times their body weight can falter. Even the nimble mockingbird may swoop down, aiming for a two-point landing on a rearview mirror, and miss the mark. "Everyone ought to see a bird slip on its tail at least once," Benchley wrote. "There is a great satisfaction to us clumsy humans when we see an animal that is supposed to surpass us in skill making a monkey of itself."

Benchley's analysis could, on any given day, apply to politicians. I was not very satisfied last week when I read that Oklahoma's junior senator slipped on a marshmallow on the Senate floor while poking a sharp stick in Democrats' eyes.

"Instead of passing a $33.5 billion measure funding energy and water projects and then moving on to other business, the chamber slogged through a 30-hour protest by Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Okla., who halted further legislative business after one of his pet ideas was dropped from the bill." Associated Press

The word "pet" caught my attention. That same day NPR had aired a story on U.S. Rep. Thaddeus McCotter, a Michigan Republican who adamantly opposes health care reform but has introduced a bill that would give the 67 percent of U.S. households with a pet up to a $3,500 tax deduction for pet-care expenses.

"McCotter's HAPPY bill, which stands for Humanity And Pets Partnered through the Years, is 'as much a health care bill as any,' said the Humane Society's Nancy Perry ...'It's a human health issue to ensure that pets are provided with better care because of the role they play in our families.'" ABC News

The two stories together made me wonder if the Capitol is land-mined with marshmallows. Or, is this what happens when lawmakers perform their own stunt work?

I'd love to take a deduction on my pet with her expensive grass allergy. But like my wiener dog, the HAPPY warrior's bill does not stand tall. We have a $11 trillion national debt; and 46 million people without health insurance. With those realities, Congress can ill afford to pass out tax deductions like Milk Bones.

This novelty bill will die in committee and McCotter's 15 minutes of pandering to us animal owners will end.

The 30 hours of attention paid to Sen. Coburn is a little more difficult to ignore.

In January I wrote a column praising Sens. Coburn, John McCain and then-Sen. Barack Obama for co-authoring the Federal Funding Accountability and Transparency Act several years ago. Their measure created a valuable public Web site showing federal grants, loans, contracts and other assistance.

I'm less enthusiastic about Coburn's actions Wednesday. By way of background, Coburn earlier this year added to the energy and water bill a provision requiring that reports, which agencies must send to congressional appropriations panels, be made available to other lawmakers and to the public.

In July, Coburn's amendment won routine approval. But it later was dropped during House-Senate talks because of lawmakers' concerns about its effect. Under Coburn's plan, reports such as one on the Energy Department's financial balances and a Nuclear Regulatory Commission report on barriers to building new nuclear power plants would have to be posted online right away.

When it became apparent the amendment would fail Coburn began his protest. The Senate beat back the filibuster of the House-Senate measure, meaning debate was limited to a maximum of 30 more hours. Typically, however, once a filibuster is blocked, the chamber moves to a final vote on the bill, or at least moves on to other business. But under Senate rules any single member can force the 30 hours to run. In the Coburn case, that meant a final vote had to wait.

I'm only speculating but I suspect Coburn might have received better treatment had his history of putting holds on bills not come home to roost. Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., said the protest "wasted" time and "forced the Senate to spend hours, days ... doing nothing." In the end, Coburn antagonized fellow lawmakers and did little to advance transparency. Meanwhile, the critical business of working on a Defense Department policy bill and extending unemployment benefits to tens of millions of unemployed workers ground to a halt.

Some would argue that this was just more Tomfoolery — not an isolated misstep on a marshmallow.

Julie DelCour, 581-8379
julie.delcour@tulsaworld.com By JULIE DELCOUR Associate Editor

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	Report Comment Loki, Broken Arrow (10/18/2009 4:25:26 AM) "Dr. No" tilting at armadillos for our entertainment at the expense of the country. Ego-centric "Deacon Doctor of C Street" is emblematic of our state? Red Face vs Red State.
	Report Comment Four Sixteen Rigby, Tulsa (10/18/2009 5:35:45 AM) And the downside to having those reports posted on-line so that the people who paid for them can read them is...? Kudos to Coburn on this one, Julie; you come off as just trying to defend the status quo of...something.
	Report Comment Willard_Roker, (10/18/2009 9:35:50 AM) If Coburn is backing it you can bet it better serves his right wing agenda more than it helps the the people of this country.
	Report Comment reckless abandon, Tulsa (10/18/2009 10:19:40 AM) Coburn has decided that he and he alone is the arbitrator of all that is right or wrong. He is part of a legislative body made up of many divergent interests and that requires negotiation and compromise if anything is to be accomplished. He is not capable serving the interests of the nation or Oklahoma and should be removed from office and replaced, along with Inhoff with someone who can further instead of hinder progre.ss
	Report Comment Woofenburger, Hominy (10/18/2009 12:21:14 PM) When you are God's right hand man you are not concerned with the effects your actions have on mortal men.
	Report Comment Thunder196, Tulsa (10/18/2009 5:19:30 PM) Guess I can't comment on this. When I realized who wrote this, I didn't bother reading it.
	Report Comment Koichi, Baltimore (10/20/2009 12:52:13 PM) Julie get a life! You want me to help take care of your children but can't spend a dime on helping the animals of this world survive? There must be something wrong with this world. I agree with Thunder196. I say yes, we need health insurance and tax brakes for our animals. We did it for our autos in the past and we are doing in now with the stimulus package. What has happen to mankind? Animals have right also or have you forgotten that you and I are classified as an animal also... I think the Senator is on the right path because if we do not take care of our animals we suffer losing ourselves as well the planet. THINK ABOU IT!! You want me to pay for your children’s upkeep but not for the upkeep of our beloved pets!!!
	Report Comment Zinna1969, Hammond (10/20/2009 1:25:07 PM) I own 9 Dogs and 1 Cat all of my animals were strays. Mostly someone decided they didn't want anymore and threw away. In my state Louisiana we kill animals that they cant find homes for. All my animals are neutered and well taken care of. It is a struggle to support all of them. There are many in my town alone that has "adopted" unwanted throw away animals. The people who do this are not rich nor do it to gain anything. We do it for the love of animals. Having a little help with vet bills would be great. Even a small percentage would be helpful. Those of you who would do it for the tax break go spend a day or two at a animal shelter. I think you just might change your mind.
	Report Comment It's Bridget, Hesperia (10/20/2009 2:34:35 PM) This chicks an idiot. Plain and simple. I'm against Health Care Reform because we don't need it at the expense of Billions to Trillions of dollars that will come from...who else? Taxpayers. Yet, if the HAPPY bill were passed, back when I dropped $6,000.00 to try and save my puppy from Parvo, the tax break would have really helped me. No, I wouldn't have come out filthy rich, but I might have gotten a few more bucks back from the government. So, those of you who want to say that the animal issues should be put on the back burner...I think your morons. Plain and simple. Since when can we only focus on one issue at a time??? They could be helping us in this time of need with tax breaks such as these...but no...instead they want to spend more money on an issue that would be mute if the government would approve money to start state and federal projects therefore giving more people jobs. Things in your cities and towns would get completed and people would be working.It's simple: If your working then you can get group health insurance thru your employer. Another department that is also being forgotten is that we already have the Department of Public Health that provides medical care for low income individuals.

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