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Family time: Parent to parent
Scott Aycock says, "Notice what your children do right and acknowledge them, instead of only noticing when they do wrong."
By MATT GLEASON World Scene Writer
Published: 11/2/2009 2:19 AM
Last Modified: 11/2/2009 9:20 AM
Talking, walking: the many steps of connecting
Scott Aycock is a father of two sons, Jesse, 27, and Dylan, 24. He's also a licensed marital and family therapist in private practice.
- One of the best gifts you can give your children is to have a healthy marriage, so pay attention to that relationship.
- Be a good role-model. Children learn more from what you do than what you say.
- Set clear and enforceable boundaries, but allow for flexibility as your child matures or circumstances change.
- Hugs, kisses, "I love you." Fathers, not just mothers, should be affectionate with their children.
- Some things may be conditional on behavior. For example, "I will take you to Big Splash as soon as you finish cleaning your room."
- Lectures are counterproductive. Talk with and to your child, not at your child.
- Parents, you get respect from your children by respecting yourself. That means, sticking to your guns and valuing your time. For instance, if I just spent an hour trying to get my child to do a simple task, like take out the trash, and now he/she wants me to drop everything and take them to a friends house to play: Not gonna happen.
- Create meaningful family rituals. For example, eating supper together, decorating or preparing for a holiday celebration, game night, etc.
Notice what your children do right and acknowledge them, instead of only noticing
when they do wrong.
Be present, and available to them as much as possible.
Quantity and quality of time spent with your children are important.
By MATT GLEASON World Scene Writer
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