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Six Scariest Words contest winners named
By JAMES WATTS World Scene Writer
Published: 10/31/2009 4:52 AM
Last Modified: 10/31/2009 4:52 AM
Well, it's official.
The scariest six words in the English language are: "I'll judge the short story contest."
At least, that's what one thought when faced with the prospect of 371 separate emails that insinuated their way into my email account in the days since it was announced that the Tulsa World would host a Halloween writing contest called "Scare the World in Six Words."
The inspiration was the six-word story attributed to Ernest Hemingway: "For Sale. Baby Shoes. Never Used." In those six words, you have both a complete image, and something of a mystery. You read those terse sentences and you want to know a little more about why these shoes are now for sale.
So we at the Tulsa World decided to take that challenge to a new level, and asked our readers to write a six-word story suitable for Halloween.
By saying we received 371 emails does not mean we received 371 entries. The actual number of six-word stories we received was close to 800, because many contributors would include multiple stories in a single email.
Then there were the English teachers who had their students try their hands at six-word stories as an assignment, then sent as many as 130 individual entries.
Don't get me wrong. We're pleased – and frankly stunned – at the response this half-baked idea we cooked up in a matter of minutes late one night has received. We’re especially happy that teachers used the contest to get their students involved in writing.
Still.
Eight hundred or so six-word stories is a lot of stories.
Or, maybe we should say, "attempts at stories." A great many of the entries we received were really just statements about things that hacked or stabbed or howled or crawled or gobbled or laughed in evil ways. Some startling imagery now and then, some pretty grotesque descriptions, but nothing that made you want to know – or even imagine – more.
And there were those from people who find aspects of our political system horrendous enough that they thought merely putting some politician's name before the words "…is President for life" would be enough to send readers into gibbering fits of terror.
And then there were those that were just plain weird, that no amount of parsing would lead to them making sense. For example:
"Multiple eye stabs bled the shirt." (WHAT??!)
"Midnight Grandma's blood drowned everyone's lungs" (Midnight has a grandmother? Who knew?)
"Butterfly dream or butterfly is dreaming?" (Ummm….OK……)
"Painful, choking, cough that death followed." (Dead people can cough? Or Death wanders around listening for those who haven't taken their Robitussin?)
You get the idea.
Of course, some of the strange ones were weird enough to be bizarrely fascinating:
"Then, they dragged in the chicken." (I don't know what this says about me, but I find that sentence both hilariously funny and deliciously creepy.)
"Grandma went out!" "Use more gas!" (Black humor at its smoke-darkened best.)
"Never trust a red monkey trainer." (Well of course – I only use blue monkey trainers, myself. It's a union thing.)
But we have to make a decision at some point in time. Which, out of those 800 or so entries, told a story, gave us a shiver, made us want to know more – even if we might not like what we would discover?
Honorable mentions:
"Room for rent. Current occupant doomed." W. G. Cox
"Go away," she whispered. "You're dead." John Wooley
"But it's a delicacy in Taiwan." Dustin Parkhurst
"Decided against college. Met Spike. Bye." Anne Sheaff
And now – The Winners!
Third place: "Parrots aren't carnivorous, are they, Marvin?" Steve Amos.
(Admit it – you really want to know what prompted that question.)
Second place: "Wanted: Beating heart. No questions asked." Stacy Young.
(A number of entries used a similar formula, but it's the word "beating" that raises this one to the level of a story.)
First place: "Bad: buried alive. Worse: not alone." Trex Bujarski.
(Perfectly creepy and wonderfully open-ended. And dreamed up by a 13-year-old student from Locust Grove.)
The top winners will be receiving a copy of a suitably scary book, courtesy the Literary Desk of the Tulsa World.
Again, thanks to all who took part. And Happy Halloween.
By JAMES WATTS World Scene Writer
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