The best, worst dressed of the 2011 Grammys

BY JASON ASHLEY WRIGHT World Scene Writer
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
2/15/11 at 9:27 AM

Esperanza who?

Facebook was atwitter with similar status updates during Sunday night's Grammy Awards, coverage of which I watched from 4:30 p.m. until Arcade Fire surprised everyone by winning the night's final trophy.

One of the reasons I love the Grammys is because I always learn of at least one artist I'm unfamiliar with, such as Esperanza Spalding, the Best New Artist winner - and, according to The Washington Post on Monday morning, the target of Bieber fans, who kept altering the artist's Wikipedia page because he didn't win the trophy. That's classy, kids. But Biebs himself was gracious, according to my friends backstage. And by "friends," I mean online tabloid reports.

Whatever, I also watch the Grammys for live performances, some of which disappoint when compared to studio recordings and others, like my darling Janelle Monae, inspire multiple listens of the artists' albums the day after the awards hoopla.

But mostly I watch for the fashion, as you wouldn't be reading this otherwise. And few awards shows - perhaps none, other than MTV's annual Video Music Awards - offer such a diverse offering of talent and, praise Armani, fashion. Whip out your notebook, let's compare best and worst.

The best

First, a disclaimer, of sorts. I purposefully didn't read any post-Grammy fashion commentary, as I must admit it's changed my opinion from time to time. But for this shindig, I shunned fashion police tickets and Twitter tirades, so I'm sure we'll disagree from time to time (which is what makes this fun, as long as we use our inside voices).

Secondly, I had to keep in mind that these were the Grammys, not the Oscars or Golden Globes - an occasion when musicians tend to take more creative approaches to wardrobing. In other words, I cut quite a bit of slack in the judgment department. So, here goes.

I had really, really hoped Lady Gaga was going to knock it out of Fashion Stadium, but her on-stage outfit left me kinda ho-hum. Love her and her spikey shoulder bone spurs (OK, maybe not those), but I think Cee-Lo's performance with the Muppets took the evening's costume cake. Just wish Gwyneth Paltrow had joined him on-stage in something less boring - although I gotta give her props for climbing on top of a piano, then standing in those Louboutins.

Admittedly, I adore Florence and the Machine, so maybe that's part of the reason I really liked her white Givenchy haute couture gown with the swan heads bowing toward one another across her chest. They weren't at all like Bjork's infamous Oscar dress with the swan neck craning over her shoulder and around the other side like a dead albatross. No, this was THE most-chic use of a swan motif in red-carpet history. Does that make it sound better?

Metallics were a popular choice, and most wore it well - especially curvaceous Kim Kardashian in dazzling, plunge-front gold Kaufman Franco. Miranda Lambert glittered in gold Edition by George Chakra; Selena Gomez in glimmering J. Mendel; and J. Lo shone in silver, mirrored Pucci dress. Like with the sun, though, don't stare at it, or you'll go blind.

Speaking of staring, Rihanna turned quite a few heads on the red carpet in her white, sheer-paneled, ruched chiffon gown by Jean-Paul Gaultier. Though I loved it, I was more into her black ball skirt with the yellow, black and fuchsia during her performance with Eminem.

I'm not just saying this because she's a fellow Dubya Dubya diva, but Jennifer Hudson was fabulous in her navy corset-style Versace and sleek hair. "American Idol" alum Jordin Sparks was pretty in strapless red and pink Zang Toi and stunning DeBeers diamonds. Also in red was Sara Bareilles in a gorgeous Escada column and classic up-do.

A pregnant Jewel was pleasing in a one-shouldered yellow Pamela Rowland gown; Nicole Kidman was typically statuesque in fishtail Jean-Paul Gaultier; and, both beautiful in black, "Glee" starlets Dianna Agron and Lea Michele wore Vivienne Westwood and Pucci, respectively.

Some of the guys scored hits on the red carpet, too, like Bruno Mars' classic tux - very Rat Pack but not in a costume-y way. Drake was dapper in all black, from his tux and tie to the shirt itself; John Legend was classic cool in a Gucci suit and slightly loosened tie; and, sorry, but I really want Mick Jagger's green jacket.

The worst

Ms. "Teenage Dream" was heavenly in white Giorgio Armani, but not in a good way. The angel wings on Katy Perry's gown totally ruined an otherwise decent crystal-encrusted bustier and iridescent silk organza skirt. Her charming grandmother, also in Armani, looked much better.

Miley, Miley, Miley ... Get thee to Rachel Zoe! You're a beautiful girl, and you've stopped slumping your shoulders so much, but that black-and-gold Robert Cavalli gown was a miss. And nix all the hardware on your wrists (unless it's one of those biceps-via-accessories workouts). But what was up with the side-boob cleavage?

Love her, but Janelle Monae's huge pompadour and Colonel Sanders tie was less vixen-version Rat Pack than it was Little Richard in "Hairspray."

Ciara's strappy contraption by Pucci failed to impress me, although fashion policewoman Kelly Osbourn oohed over it. Favorite quote following her assessment: "I think this is great for the Grammys," E!'s Giuliana DePandi said. Twice. In other words, "That would NEVER fly at the Oscars." Neither would "Glee" siren Amber Riley, who traded a bombshell gown at the Globes for a bomb in an unflattering black gown with a blingy-gold epaulet connected to a choker. In the words of Destiny's Child, "no, no, no, no, no."

Still, she was much better off than Nicki Minaj, my favorite little fashion train wreck. Yes, she dresses like this on purpose, but even by music-awards standards, her head-to-toe leopard ensemble, most of which was by Givenchy (are they acknowledging that? ) was Hell(n)o, Kitty.

John Mayer, I thought you were a tired waiter trying to look like Johnny Depp. Sorry. Adam Levine, as good-looking as you are, why did you wear some sloppy V-neck tee under an otherwise sharp tux jacket? While I'm asking questions, Diddy, why did you button your tux shirt to the top and ditch the tie under that leather jacket? And why, oh why, Ricky Martin, did you feel the need to paint on silver jeans?

They were still better than the evening's worst-dressed male, Lenny Kravitz, whose admitted "nomadic vibe" made him look like he'd taken over Tina Turner's job at "Thunderdome." We don't need another hero dressed like that, Mr. Kravitz.

Finally, to bring this full circle, I know I'm about to fall in love with Esperanza Spalding and her music, but her slightly bile green gown was more like a lettuce wrap with more of a grudge against her than the evening's other red-carpet winners.