Jay Cronley: Stages of marriage need a set designer
BY JAY CRONLEY World Staff Columnist
Friday, May 11, 2012
5/11/12 at 3:22 AM
With President Barack Obama saying the more the merrier when it comes to marriage, here's a 15-stage guide to about half of all unions.
Stage one: That's the one for me.
What could be more flattering than to be accepted by someone you consider to be special?
Stage two: So much in common.
That's thought to be important by all the matchmakers.
In truth, having everything in common could be a negative.
If you have little in common, you could learn new and exciting things from the other person; it could be educational.
Stage three: Good behavior.
Could anybody actually be this nice?
Stage four: References.
Somebody said that not everything on the Internet is accurate.So it's better you check with your new love's ex-partner - better you now than the cops later.
Act II: Stage five: Commitment.
As Meatloaf said, you'll be loved until the end of time.
Stage six: The wedding.
What's that serious face all about?
Stage seven: Company.
Wednesday night, you're sick, thank heavens for the spouse.
Stage eight: Private time.
It's Saturday morning, leave me alone.
Stage nine: Play time.
What do you want to do?
Stage 10: The future.
Kids? Sure. You take the first year up all night, I'll take the second.
The plot thickens: Stage 11: Communication.
So have you. I need some space.
Stage 12: Trust.
Where were you last night?
Stage 13: Third party.
You're hiding money.
Tell it to the lawyers. See you at the deposition.
Stage 14: Freedom!
Oh no. I'm alone. I failed. I'll grow old and feeble alone. I need somebody. Anybody. Somebody fix me up. Fast.
Stage 15: Maybe my ex wasn't so bad after all.
Original Print Headline: Stages of marriage need a set designer