Graduating without parents: Glenpool student perseveres through losses

BY KIM ARCHER World Staff Writer
Thursday, May 17, 2012
5/17/12 at 7:53 AM

GLENPOOL - Her easygoing, fun personality belies the strength that runs deep within Abigail Smith.

The 17-year-old will graduate Saturday from Glenpool High School - without either her mother or father alive to watch their daughter reach the milestone.

"It's been kind of rocky," Smith said of the weeks leading up to graduation.

Of Glenpool's 133 seniors, six have had one parent die during their time in high school.

Smith has lost both parents.

Through it all, she has maintained nearly straight A's, counseled other students who have lost parents and held a job.

She was active in band and choir and was captain of the color guard.

"She has always been an excellent student," said school counselor Paige Pulscher. "At a time when she really could have given up and become withdrawn, she decided, 'I'm not going to do this.' That is the most courage I've ever seen in a teenager."

Smith moved with her family to Glenpool from Tennessee just before her seventh-grade year. About a year later, her father died of a drug overdose, leaving Smith and her younger sister with an ill mother.

Her mother died in early 2010 after a five-year battle with breast cancer that had spread to her bones. Smith and her now-12-year-old sister, Caitlin, live with an aunt and uncle.

At first, Smith said, she shut down emotionally for six to eight months and felt that she had to be a rock for her sister. But with counseling, she realized that she has many relatives and friends who care about her.

"I used to be in a shell," she said. "I wouldn't let myself cry. It's like the light at the end of the tunnel has been shut off. But now I'm becoming more of who I want to be."

Pulscher said that because of the number of students who experienced the loss of close relatives, the school offered a grief counseling group. Smith took a leadership role in that.

"I really didn't want to let something so human defeat me," she said. "People are going to die, but you have to make the choice of whether you're going to let that ruin you or whether you're going to let that make you a stronger person. It's going to hurt. But everybody goes through pain."

Smith took comfort from a quote she found: "Your strength comes by accident from the weakness of others."

"My mom passing away and having that weakness - not a failure weakness, but her body was weak - I grew stronger through that," she said. "I still have all these goals. Not only do I want to reach them, but I know my mom would want me to reach them."

On Monday, Smith sang a solo at the choir banquet - "Somebody's Watching Over Me" - and dedicated it to her mother, whom she describes as a funny, feisty, 4-feet, 10-inch German woman who loved Bill Cosby, ice cream and her kids.

"It's not easy without her," she said. "There are days even now, as big events like graduation get closer, I get kind of upset, and I think: 'Oh, I just want her to be here. I just want to be able to hug her.' "

She wears a silver star containing some of her mother's ashes around her neck to keep her close.

"She had the biggest heart," Smith said. "Every single one of my friends, even if they just met her one time, they called her Mom. She called them all her babies."

Smith plans to attend to the University of Oklahoma and hopes to become a pediatric oncology nurse.

"I love kids, and I want to be able to help them," she said. "You've seen the St. Jude's commercial where the nurse sings a little song while she gives the kid a shot? That's the nurse I want to be.

"I just want to make a difference in someone's life."

Tulsa Public Schools graduations

All Tulsa Public Schools commencement ceremonies will take place at the Oral Roberts University Mabee Center, 7777 S. Lewis Ave.

McLain: 5 p.m. Wednesday, May 23

East Central: 7 p.m. Wednesday, May 23

Booker T. Washington: 9 p.m. Wednesday, May 23

Webster: 5 p.m. Thursday, May 24

Central: 7 p.m. Thursday, May 24

Edison: 9 p.m. Thursday, May 24

Innovative Schools: 4 p.m. Friday, May 25

Hale: 6 p.m. Friday, May 25

Memorial: 8 p.m. Friday, May 25

Area graduations

Bartlesville: 8 p.m. Friday, May 25, Custer Stadium

Broken Arrow: 7:30 p.m. Thursday, ORU Mabee Center, Tulsa

Catoosa: 8 p.m. Friday, Catoosa High School stadium

Claremore: 7:30 p.m. Thursday, Lantow Stadium

Glenpool: 2 p.m. Saturday, Expo Square Pavilion, Tulsa

Jenks: 7:30 p.m. Monday, ORU Mabee Center, Tulsa

Liberty: 8 p.m. Friday, Liberty High School gym

Oologah-Talala: 7 p.m. Saturday, Mustang Stadium

Owasso: 7 p.m. Friday, ORU Mabee Center, Tulsa

Sapulpa: 7:30 p.m. Friday, Collins Stadium

Skiatook: 7 p.m. Thursday, May 24, Skiatook Activity Center

Sperry: 11 a.m. Saturday, Sperry High School football field

Original Print Headline: Student carries on

Kim Archer 918-581-8315
kim.archer@tulsaworld.com

Associated Images:

Abigail Smith, 17, a senior at Glenpool High School, receives a hug from her friend Chance Acosta, a junior at the school, on Wednesday. MIKE SIMONS/Tulsa World

Abigail Smith, 17, a senior at Glenpool High School, wears her class of 2012 ring during band class Wednesday. MIKE SIMONS/Tulsa World

Abigail Smith, 17, a senior at Glenpool High School, sings during honor choir Wednesday. In the foreground are sophomore Allison Bell (left) and freshman Rachel Van Fleet. MIKE SIMONS/Tulsa World