The Picker: Hard sells and harder pills to swallow
BY The Picker
Thursday, October 11, 2012
10/11/12 at 4:20 AM
Outpick the Picker: Think you can outpick the Picker? Take him on every week of the football season.Original Print Headline: Hard sells and harder pills to swallow
Here are five of the hardest sells around.
1. The Big 12 is a major football power.
Just look at what OU has been cleaning up against: Missouri, the laughingstock of the SEC, will be lucky to win half its games; the Aggies, more SEC chump change; Nebraska, which was just rolled by Ohio State; and Colorado, Ivy League West.
And the new class of the Big 12? West Virginia, a Big East team!
OU is always ranked too high early because the Big 12 is always considered to be powerful.
2. Fox will challenge ESPN in college football coverage.
With massively overrated Erin Andrews and her voice like the Aflac Duck, the Fox coverage still looks like grad students doing lab work.
Fox adopted the Texas Longhorns.
One stinker leads to another.
3. The SEC can be had.
By Oregon? Which can't beat USC?
By West Virginia, which couldn't stop a marching band?
The SEC can only be stopped by bad luck, bad officiating or by another SEC team.
4. The Thunder can win it all.
Miami is better. The Lakers are better. The Thunder is, at best, the same.
Durant and LeBron are having one soda, two straws.
Do the math, the Thunder slips.
5. NASCAR drivers are athletes.
Was bus driver Ralph Kramden an athlete?
Are poker players athletes?
Chess players train physically. Are they athletes?
If you sit for your living, you're not an athlete.
UTEP at Tulsa (-15 1/2): With a 60 percent chance of funky weather due over the heartland Saturday, and with OU and OSU out of state, only a punk wouldn't go to this.
TU's Blankenship continues to coach and sell well.
And selling TU's conference as a contender can be like selling dirt to a Panhandle farmer.
TU by 17.
OU (-3) versus Texas in Dallas: Talk about a game that fits one person.
This has Mike Stoops written all over it.
It's a psycho game full of raw emotions, tailor-made for the Bosworths of the world.
Cue new defensive head man Mike Vesuvius: Knock Texas on its Ash.
That Texas quarterback is suddenly known as being not bad.
It takes more than that to win this one.
Hopefully Landry's West Coast guru has at least instilled the notion to fumble forward.
OU by 10.
OSU (-22) at Kansas: Not to be too downbeat, but it's time to think about Walsh transferring; or the one who is second-team.
What really good player would want to sit on the bench four years?
KU's Weis has his seniors pulling weeds and is thinking about going for a win in 2015.
OSU by 24.
Florida (-7) at Vanderbilt: Trap or easy pickings?
Former, Florida by 4.
Kansas State (-7) at Iowa State: K-State's quarterback is the new Tebow. He runs as well, throws better.
Ultraconservative approaches suggest tiny totals.
K-State by 4.
Alabama (-21) at Missouri: Hey Tiger fans, here's the perfect spot for the sequel to the SEC chant, SOS.
Throw in an RIP or two, you have life in Mo's new conference.
Alabama by 24.
Stanford at Notre Dame (-9 1/2): After this, and then versus a lousy BYU club, Notre Dame could roll into Norman undefeated and with a top-five rating.
Let's not forget ND beat Purdue by 3 in South Bend and was lucky to do it.
ND by 7.
South Carolina at LSU (-3): Loopy Les versus the ancient ball coach.
Completed pass a rare event.
LSU by 5.
West Virginia (-4 1/2) at Texas Tech: Vegas voodoo at work, WV being this short a favorite.
Visitors by 6.
TCU at Baylor (-7): Did we or did we not tell you in August that TCU was the most overrated team in college football history and would be lucky to finish .500?
Baylor by 9.
Indy at the Jets (-3 1/2): Luck is a future super star.
Sanchez is a future spectator.
Jets by 6.
Dallas at Baltimore (-4): At least Baltimore can recall when it was good.
Dallas has to ask an elder what success was like.
Ray Lewis creaks.
Big upset, Dallas by 3.
New England (-4 1/2) at Seattle: In-house NE bickering keeps this close to an upset.
NE by 4.
Giants at San Francisco (-6): Feels like the winner of this should proceed right to the Super Bowl.
SF by 4.
Green Bay at Houston (- 4 1/2): Houston quarterback looks considerably worse than his team's record.
Houston by 4.
Denver at San Diego (-3): Norv Turner is coaching on fumes.
Peyton is throwing changeups.
San Diego by 4.