Living Wright: Theater tweaks would encourage more movie-going
BY JASON ASHLEY WRIGHT World Scene Writer
Thursday, November 15, 2012
11/15/12 at 5:29 AM
Go to Jason Ashley Wright's BlogOriginal Print Headline: Movie wishlist
Of all the scary critters in literature and Hollywood celluloid history, Gollum ranks high on my list of folks I never want to run into, whether in or out of a dark alley.
The animated version of "The Hobbit" from 1977 used to creep me out, and Gollum - particularly his voice - scared the Shire right out of me.
Years later, the super-talented Andy Serkis came along in Peter Jackson's first three interpretations of J.R.R. Tolkein's novels, and I can't wait for his fourth appearance in "The Hobbit," which is out next month - along with Helen Mirren in "Hitchcock," another on my must-see list.
Of course, I say I'm all excited about these movies, when I've yet to see "Skyfall," for which I thought I'd buy a ticket lickety-split as soon as it hit theaters. I imagine it'll be a week or two, even three before I see "Lincoln." And Lord knows I'll end up seeing "The Silver Linings Playbook" once it's out on DVD despite my affinity for Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence.
Maybe I'd be more likely to go to the cinema if some of the following changes occurred:
Free tickets Obviously.
Reduced-fat popcorn and other healthy options I can easily pass up the do-it-yourself butter dispenser, but I feel obligated to have popcorn and a Diet Coke. But what about - and I'll even roll my eyes with you on this next suggestion - crudités and fat-free ranch dip? OK, nevermind ...
Wine Again, obviously.
Surprise deals It would be neat to waddle up to the concessions counter, order some popcorn or crudités, and have the person behind the counter scream, "Congrats! You're our 67th person of the day, and that means you get free" somethin' somethin'. Which would suck if you actually ordered crudités instead of some yummy popcorn because everyone knows that free food has fewer calories and fat than their non-free counterparts.
Massage chairs. Is that gross? Some people enjoy them too much, so maybe it's not a good idea to make these commonplace. Maybe just a single row one-third of the way back from the screen.
Feet rests I hate it when, having snagged the middle sweet spot in the theater only to have someone sit - passing up, mind you, all the other open seats in the theater - smack dab in front of me, preventing my using their chair as a foot rest. These people burn a bright blue flame in hell. Anyway, foot rests or feet rests, sweet, sweet, sweet. (Anyone else thinking about Dr. Seuss? Was that TMI?)
Stamp cards Maybe theaters have these, and I'm out of the loop. But I love my stamp card from the Sushi Place - one stamp each visit, 10 stamps equals a free roll. Why not do the same for movies? That, My Precious, would makes us very happy.