Bird in hand worth $20 in hostess's pocket
BY AMY DICKINSON
Saturday, December 29, 2012
1/08/13 at 8:18 AM
Dear Amy: For the last several years, I've been meeting with a small group of friends for a late holiday dinner.
This year, the hostess has asked for $20 from each of us toward the cost of the meal, citing rising food prices. We agreed. Meanwhile, I was given a 20-pound turkey and told her that I would contribute the turkey to the meal and therefore shouldn't owe any money. She said the bird didn't count since I hadn't paid for it. I countered that it was still $20 less than she would have to spend.
She got mad and called me a cheapskate, but I beg to differ. Which of us do you think is the cheapskate here? - Sick of Turkey
Dear Sick: I'm with you. Your contribution has value, even if you didn't pay for it. If your friend wants to host a very low-cost dinner, she can run it as a potluck.
Dear Amy: I have a big problem. I am getting engaged to a lovely girl this winter. We met last summer and had a lovely time together, and after that we embarked on a long-distance relationship. We talk many times a day, every day.
But lately I have been thinking of my previous lover. That relationship ended three years ago. I know it's been a long time, but I am still thinking of her and remembering my good times with her, even though we had a bad breakup. I don't know how to forget her, and I don't know how to fix it. - Ottawa Reader
Dear Reader: It is natural to review a previous relationship when you fall in love again. It's also common to remember the good times more vividly than the bad, but the healthiest perspective is to be less - not more - romantically interested in your ex when you are down-deep satisfied in your current relationship.
You should not propose marriage until you have resolved your feelings about your ex. A professional counselor could help you work this out; so could a good buddy with knowledge of this previous relationship.
Dear Amy: I'd like to weigh in on the letter from "Kissed Consultant," who was shocked when a male client pulled her toward him and kissed her on the lips after a lunch meeting.
Honestly, when I read the letter the first thing I thought was that she should have slapped him right across the face. I like to think I would have done that. - Also a Consultant
Dear Also: If only real life was like an old black-and-white movie, where a dame could slap a heel right across the kisser. But just as an unwelcome kiss is an affront, a slap is a (potential) assault. Alas, life ain't like the old days.
Send questions via email to email@example.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.