Retirement bounty leads to chore deficit
BY AMY DICKINSON
Friday, February 22, 2013
2/22/13 at 5:35 AM
Dear Amy: I am retired and live with my girlfriend, who still works full time. Financially, we're good, but problems arise when she gets home from work.
She seems to have this expectation that I should do all of the household chores: cleaning, shopping, errands, home maintenance, etc. It's not like I make a mess of the place - quite the contrary.
I usually leave for the day and do the things that retired people do - hang out at the coffee shop, bicycle, surf. I leave the place looking nice and am self-sufficient.
Because of my choices I have arrived at a place where I can enjoy life, and I think it is unfair that I get grief for living as I wish to live.
Don't get me wrong, I don't expect anyone else to pull my weight, but explain to me why I must pull hers, too, as her choices have led her to this place. - The Good Life
Dear Good Life: The obvious solution is for you and your girlfriend to pool some of your money and hire a person to come in to do household chores. After that, you two can negotiate sharing the rest.
The other obvious solution is for you to enjoy your life as a solitary, self-sufficient retiree. On your own. Alone. In your own pad.
If you want to live with another person, whether it's your girlfriend or a fellow retired surfing geezer, you should realize that even self-sufficient, tidy adults need to share the chores required to keep a home running - and it's not really that much work.
Additionally, it's not really all that tough to think of little ways to make someone else's life a little easier - certainly if you love that person and want her to be happy and feeling good about you. In return, your partner should ease up a little and be appreciative.
Dear Amy: Responding to the letter from "Down and Out," who was dating a guy who loved being surrounded by women: So you think a guy who takes a woman on a date for dancing is just a "fun flirt" (as you call him) if he leaves his date sitting alone and dances with other single women?
Sounds like he's more of an egoist cad and rude to leave his date alone, but a "fun flirt"?
C'mon, Amy, have a little more respect for women. - DK
Dear DK: The man in question was a flirt when she met him, but now she wanted him to change.
And yes, I will definitely try to have more respect for women. Thank you.
Send questions via email to Amy Dickinson at askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
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