Jay Cronley: Anatomy of a good snow job
BY JAY CRONLEY World Staff Columnist
Friday, March 01, 2013
3/01/13 at 3:46 AM
Could this be a lost television meteorologist audition tape?
Voice of authority: Okay, here's the current weather data from the computers. When the red light comes on the camera, just deliver the forecast as you would if you were on the 10 p.m. show.
New voice: Okay.
Voice of authority: Ready, go.
New voice: All right. It looks like it could snow a couple or three inches tonight.
Some of these February systems are unpredictable.
The 32-degree line is pretty much guesswork.
After all, it is winter.
It gets cold in the winter.
Things sometimes freeze.
It's going to be 40 degrees tomorrow and around the same the day after.
With all the leaves off the trees, and little if any freezing rain expected, it's doubtful that power outages will be much of a problem. So enjoy the change of pace.
Build a snowman or snowwoman. Make a snow castle. Have a snowball fight. Have some hot chocolate.
There's no reason to panic.
Take two: Voice of authority: That's absolutely terrible. Next in line, get over here. All right, begin.
New voice: Okay. We're going to have many live reports to lead off this segment.
First, we're going to the city sand pile where we will hear how many plows will be poised for what could become the storm of our lifetimes, including seniors.
Next, we'll have some of our people standing by bridges and overpasses where they will be inspecting surfaces for slick spots.
After that, our investigative team will offer the results of an undercover piece that will reveal any price gouging when it comes to portable home generators, cans of de-icer, and windshield scrapers.
We will also present how-to stories about determining whether live electric wires have fallen across the roof of your house, along with tips for surviving a blizzard while stranded in a barn.
At the end of this segment, we will scroll across the bottom of the screen a list of outlets where food supplies such as oats and flour can be purchased in bulk.
We will have spotters in the field measuring the width of snowflakes.
So stay tuned.
We will make mincemeat of regular programming, as your safety is our first concern, and as these regularly scheduled shows are terrible reruns, after all.
Back to the news desk.
Voice of authority: You're hired.
Original Print Headline: Anatomy of a good snow job