Dad wants to date, but first he needs a clue
BY AMY DICKINSON
Friday, March 01, 2013
3/01/13 at 4:34 AM
Dear Amy: How does an older (40s) single dad re-enter the modern dating scene? After 13 years of married life, I was divorced over 18 months ago (I didn't approve of the wife's boyfriend) and am the primary caregiver for my 9-year-old son.
Between his commitments and mine, there is very little time to play the social singles scene.
Options at our church are limited. Where does a guy look for an honest, intelligent and stable woman? No drama, because I'm dating for two now! - Fresh Start
Dear Fresh Start: I love your description that you are "dating for two," because when you are a single parent, your child's interests are interwoven with your own.
One way to meet other parents is to get involved in your son's activities at (or after) school. Parents who know you and your son - moms, especially - will introduce you to single people.
Parents Without Partners brings single parents (and their children) together for activities and support. Check parentswithoutpartners.org.
Meetup.com is a simple and brilliant concept - groups form around a variety of interests and post a notice on the site, inviting anyone to "meet up." My local community has "meet-up" groups for photography, hiking and food. Volunteering for a favorite charity will also put you in proximity to new people.
You should also dip your toe into online matching. The nice thing about this is that you can go at your own pace and choose to meet people who have similar interests or who conform to certain criteria.
Dear Amy: I'd like to pass on some words of encouragement to the "Distant Dad" who wrote about his kids being moved 1,000 miles away.
I was 4 and my sister was 2 when my parents divorced. I don't remember a time when my father lived nearby, but I was (and am) close to him, regardless.
My sister and I spent summers with him when we were younger, and once I was old enough to voice my opinion and be taken seriously (10 years old), I alternated years living with him. We didn't have Skype or email or digital pictures, but (as you suggested) he sent postcards. He made a point to integrate me into the life he had. We didn't do fancy trips, and he didn't buy me things. None of those things mattered then and they don't now. Just being a normal dad when we were around was the best thing. He always loved me, and I always knew it without any doubt. - Charity
Dear Charity: How beautiful. I hope "Distant Dad" takes heart from your story.
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