Jay Cronley: Spring's not all it's cracked up to be
BY JAY CRONLEY World Staff Columnist
Tuesday, March 05, 2013
3/05/13 at 4:51 AM
This is the best time of year, late winter, the last couple of weeks before spring, which explodes on the 20th of March.
Spring is an overrated pain.
Spring is a pollen count through the roof and tree limbs, an allergy epidemic.
Spring is a weed, then 100 more.
Spring is coming to gloved grips with tasks put off since Halloween; it's cleaning, pruning, digging, seeding, hauling and watering times.
Spring is the first flea, then 20 more; it's a hot spot on a dog.
Spring is a break in regular TV programming for circulation spotted in a panhandle.
Spring is a bed of new tulips flattened by a microburst.
Spring is when you carry forward the same weight from the fall.
Whereas spring is a "now" season when it comes to getting things done, the end of winter is still a "maybe later" time of year.
March storms can be freaky. Usually they're brief. Snow is quick to melt.
Late winter encourages sleeping late, then later; it's all about reading; it's tailor-made for walking in shorts and a sweat shirt.
The temperature is in the 60s.
Spring is the planting season.
Late winter is the planning season.
State of depression: The dark of winter here has been simply great: no temperatures near zero, hardly any ice, all power systems go.
Rumor has it the late winter could be just as good.
So I flipped to the Weather Channel last week to begin collecting some later winter forecasts and noticed off to the side of this website a headline teasing a story about the 10 most depressing states in the country.
Though often dopey, and usually under-researched and frequently unsubstantiated, lists are like ringing phones, they're hard to ignore.
What worse list could there be than most depressing states?
And there we were again, Oklahoma, right down there with Mississippi and other lands that time has seemingly forgotten.
The most depressing state list was on the Health Magazine website, Health.com., whose monthly covers are always skinny women.
The blurb on Oklahoma said that among the reasons we were depressing was because of a barren landscape, tornadoes, and a morbid state rock song by the Flaming Lips that referenced death. Mental health statistics were also factors in the horrible feature story.
So where is the governor? We have plenty of nonsensical task forces aimed at thin air. It's time for a task force aimed at explaining all the rotten lists we're on.
Original Print Headline: Spring's not all it's cracked up to be