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Reviewing the season's top stories

 
By The Picker
Published: 11/5/2009  2:32 AM
Last Modified: 11/5/2009  4:00 AM
Outpick the Picker: Think you can outpick the Picker? Take him on every week of the football season.

HERE ARE the top stories of the year, so far.

NORTH TEAMS INFERIOR

The weather is obviously a key factor in this chilling development.

The Big Ten, the Big 12 North, the Big East, cold weather slows down metabolism, thus speed.

Bears hibernate. So do northern offenses.

Fast people move south. Who wants to slip on ice and break a bone?

You'd think that every once in a while, a family with fast people would be transferred to the north, and that somebody quick would enroll at Iowa; doesn't happen.

It's not so much playing in cold weather that's the wickedest. Imagine a four-star recruit walking across campus to Stenciling 101 class when the wind chill in February is minus 11 and a half.

IT'S OBVIOUS WHY LEACH IS STILL IN THE BOONIES

The Texas Tech coach suggested that one reason why his team was playing lousy was because the players were spending too much time with their "fat girlfriends."

Find a president at a big-time school who would enjoy that.

Like Leach couldn't stand to mix in a slice of whole wheat.

BOISE STATE BEATS OREGON

Team Nike gets upset?

Impossible.

THE SEASON IS OVER NOV. 1

After
the SEC winner versus Texas game is settled, what's left to watch?

OU and OSU could tiptoe outside the feathery Big 12 and catch somebody offensively nasty.

An OU-Boise rematch would be some savory justice.

The only good bowl is a rinky-dink bowl where a Nobody upsets an overrated and partied-out Somebody.

THE BCS CHEATS TCU

This is a major crock along the order of the BCS picking OU to play in the title game over an Auburn team that was undefeated and sent its whole offensive backfield to the NFL.

The USC nightmare ensued for OU.

DID PICKENS REALLY GIVE ALL THAT MONEY TO OSU?

Couldn't the Cowboys have lost to Texas 50-0 in the old aluminum stadium?

Did Boise really beat Oregon?

Did Pickens really give all that?

Co-questions of the year.



THE PICKS Saturday

OU (-6) at Nebraska: Conflicting forces meet here — corny club with nothing to lose meets Medium Game Bob in his favorite stomping grounds, at a game of moderate importance.

The Nebraska offense is a thing of wonder.

Donors wonder why they gave so much. Foes wonder how they could be so lucky. Announcers wonder if the quarterback is trying to throw a pass or take off his jersey.

Here's some nonsense: You have to run the football to survive "up north."

The forecast for Lincoln on Saturday is for a high temperature of 66. It will feel like 67.

The Nebraska defense is rough as a cob.

But here's all that could beat Bubble Screen U: being out-coached.

OU by 14.

Oklahoma State (-7 1/2) at Iowa State: The one way left for the OSU season to be successful is to win at Norman.

What is the OSU runner saving himself for, male modeling?

Why did the star receiver lie to the NCAA if there was nothing to lie about?

Season on the brink of a year like many others.

OSU by 4.

Houston (-5 1/2) at TU: Many wonder why TU lost to SMU.

Here's why. SMU was better.

Many wonder why the number here is so low.

Now that is something of a puzzler.

True, Houston has a lousy defense — it could simply be a bad Vegas number.

Certain TU insiders seem puzzled that many fans are irate about the possibility of going bowling at pins.

Houston by 12.

South Carolina at Arkansas (-5): How can such a great offensive coach get such average quarterbacks?

Here's how: Maybe it's only ESPN saying the old bull coach is so great.

Arkansas by 9.

Navy at Notre Dame (-11): Why is the Notre Dame quarterback mentioned for the Heisman?

Here's why. Wait. There is no reason.

Notre Dame by 10.

LSU at Alabama (-9): Are SEC defenses great, or are the SEC quarterbacks lousy?

Yes.

Alabama by 5.

Kansas (-2 1/2) at Kansas State: The loser goes right into basketball season.

So does the winner.

Kansas by 1.

Ohio State at Penn State (-4): League's quickest by default.

Penn State by 6.

Oregon (-5) at Stanford: Home team D resembles redwoods.

Oregon by 6.

USC (-11 1/2) at Arizona State: Now everybody knows why Carroll spends one third of his time kissing up to the media.

His defense stinks.

USC by 13.



Sunday

Arizona at Chicago (-3): How can Warner play at his age?

He gets rid of the football in a hurry.

Bears by 1.

Miami at New England (-10 1/2): Does Brady seem fancier than usual?

Yes.

How has Miami won a game?

Luck.

New England by 13.

Baltimore (-3) at Cincy: Why is the wrong team favored?

Because Ray Lewis is loud.

Cincy by 2.

San Diego at the Giants (-3 1/2): Why does Eli Manning look so sour?

He must know something.

Giants by 3.

Dallas at the Eagles (-3): Many wonder if this is the new Romo, when in fact Tony Turnover has simply been playing bums at home.

Eagles by 1.



Monday

The Steelers (-3) at Denver: Somebody could stagger home with a victory by scoring nine points.

Denver by 3.
By The Picker

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COMMENTS 
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15 comments have been made for this team so far. Tell us what you think below!
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Report Comment
FIRE GUNDY, TULSA (11/5/2009 6:43:03 AM)
Picker- where are you getting that Houston number? I actually show Houston +1 1/2, which would be the absolute lock of the year.
Report Comment
The Picker, Tulsa (11/5/2009 1:45:45 PM)
Here's what happened with that Houston number.

We post the games and point spreads early Monday morning. I saw Houston minus two and thought it was a mis-print. Seriously. So I just added a few points for the contest. It really is two. Sounds like the Houston offense must be in the infirmary.
Report Comment
The Picker, Tulsa (11/6/2009 11:56:40 AM)
This just in, there's no plague in Houston.

We have asked everybody we know what's going on, who could be hurt, in short: WHAT THE?

Must be TU's nice time vs. Boise.

Any other guesses why it isn't Houston by 10?
Report Comment
Geo, (11/5/2009 10:39:23 AM)
Not sure why but I've been following this column for years. Typical Dallas hater......if they win it's pure dumb luck..if they lose it's because they don't deserve to ever win regardless. Since I don't know the Picker personally I can't say whether or not he shares the typical personality traits of most Dallas haters.....but if I was a betting man.....
Report Comment
TheFoundOgle, Mid-town (11/5/2009 9:44:26 AM)
What is going on with the line on the Houston-TU game??? Seriously! If I was a bettin' man...
Report Comment
Dash Riprock, Edmond (11/5/2009 12:11:48 PM)
Warner has the quickest release since Dan Marino, and something Dan never got...a ring.

"Announcers wonder if the quarterback (Nebraska)is trying to throw a pass or take off his jersey"...that is an all-timer for the Picker...too funny!
Report Comment
Ignatz, A nice place where Democrats hold every office in the County. (11/6/2009 10:00:23 AM)
Is it too late to catch a flight to Vegas, taxi to Sahara after trip to Bank of America/Schwab to take out every dime I have in those acounts and bet on Houston? Is someone out of their mind?
Report Comment
Dr. Strangelove, Tulsa (11/6/2009 6:55:20 AM)
The Houston/Tulsa game is even as of this morning, AMAZING
Report Comment
Dr. Strangelove, Tulsa (11/7/2009 7:18:06 AM)
Game day morning and now I show Houston -1. I would love to see the action on that game. I have a friend who is in Vegas this weekend, he said the consenus out there is it will be HOU -3 by game time. Still amazing. Actually the OU line amazes me too. I think they're going to nuke Nebraska.
Report Comment
Rapid Robert, (11/8/2009 8:08:40 PM)
Jay Cronley, isn't it true that you won EXACTLY ONE game AGAINST THE SPREAD THIS WEEKEND?

Two weeks ago you had the audacity to tell the rest of us (you called us "idiots", I believe!) how to pick the winners presumably as you do!! Why don't you ever come clean by eating some humble pie, or are you still choking on your "turkey bonehead picks"??
Report Comment
Zbra, Ponca City (11/8/2009 10:47:32 AM)
Does anybody over there know there are TWO (2) big 12 schools in Oklahoma? All you seem to know about is the one in Norman - somebody needs to take a trip to Stillwater - You might be shocked at what you find there!!!!!
Report Comment
actual1, (11/8/2009 2:16:12 PM)
Gee, how is your 70% picks going after this Saturday Jay?
Report Comment
Sooner transplant, Marion (11/5/2009 9:43:12 AM)
Isn't it funny how The Picker likes to keep that controversy going of 2004 OU-USC-Auburn-Utah. Why was Auburn a better choice to play instead of OU? If Auburn had gotten spanked by USC, then everyone would've been saying that OU should've been there. It was just the way it played out. Two Heisman trophy winners and 2 Heisman finalists was a pretty good showcase.
One thing I agree with the Picker.....and OU-Boise rematch would be thrilling!
Report Comment
AtlantaSooner, Atlanta (11/6/2009 1:50:17 PM)
Get a grip, picker clown (s)! Somebody should critique you and your picks.
Report Comment
dcood, (11/5/2009 9:12:00 AM)
I love how the picker arbitrarily decides which games are 'big' and which are not. It's not OU's fault NU stinks on offense. After all, the picker annointed the corns 'back' only a month ago. And if the picker's compass was off then all the rest of us morons surely couldnt have seen it coming... I realize when you make what Big Bob makes, you cant make excuses, and he hasnt... Ask any coach if a team who loses 3 o-lineman to the NFL and your remaining 2 best offensive players are out for the year if you are going to be as good. 100% NO CHANCE.
 

 
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