The voicemail was left sometime after the Memorial Day weekend of 2000. I vividly remember the message, and it has haunted me this time of year ever since 2003.

"This is Kay Benien," the caller said. "I want to thank you for keeping alive the memory of those boys who died in Vietnam."

She dialed my office number in response to a Memorial Day-related column on Bob Kalsu, which ran in the Tulsa World on May 26, 2000. A former Oklahoma All-American offensive lineman, Kalsu was the only NFL player to die during the Vietnam War.

What she didn't say, however, was that one of "those boys" was her son. A former Sooner player like Kalsu, Tulsa native John Benien also gave his life for his country during that horrible war in Southeast Asia.

I first wrote about Kalsu in 1992 for the Tulsa Tribune. And again while at The Oklahoman, long before Sports Illustrated finally discovered the Del City native and made him the cover story of its July 23, 2001 issue.

For some inexplicable reason, I never came across John Benien's name in those early years of researching Kalsu. When I finally did, shortly after Kay Benien left that message, I promised myself to call her before the 2001 Memorial Day and do a column on her "boy."

Well, one year became two, which extended into three. And then it became "shame on me."

When I finally got around to it in May 2003, it was too late. Kathreen "Kay" Fandel Benien died July 25, 2002, at the age of 89.

Perhaps you can relate. Sadly, many of us have experienced the regret of waiting too long to call, write or visit a family member or friend who needed that communication but never got it.

It's impossible to undo the mistake of that missed connection with Kay Benien. But it's not too late to write about her son, which is also a tribute to the memory of all the men and women we honor each May on this sacred holiday.

Had he lived, John David Benien would be nine days shy of his 67th birthday. Born June 1, 1942, the second of three sons to Dr. Paul and Kay Benien, John earned a scholarship offer from legendary OU coach Bud Wilkinson after a standout high school career at Cascia Hall.

John's older brother, Paul, was already a Sooner. Both of them played end at OU. Their younger brother, Jim, was an All-American kicker at Oklahoma State.

John's final season, 1963, was also Wilkinson's last year coaching the Sooners. Although he wasn't an All-American like Kalsu, John was a solid contributor for three seasons. He was a "glue guy," one of those players who is seldom in the spotlight, but always there when his team needs help holding things together.

In "Forty-Seven Straight," the book about Wilkinson's career, Sooner Johnny Tatum recalled when a Kansas tackler was closing in on punt returner Paul Lea that a sophomore from Tulsa threw "the best block I ever saw in my life. John Benien never did leave his feet. He just ran though him."

After graduating from OU, John returned to his hometown to earn his law degree from the University of Tulsa. He got married and became a member of the Oklahoma Bar Association in 1967, entering active duty with the U.S. Army in 1968.

Just like his football-playing days at Cascia Hall and OU, he became an officer the Army knew it could depend on when Benien was sent to the Central Highlands of Vietnam with the Army's 2nd Corps as a military adviser.

Capt. John David Benien died on Feb. 13, 1969, when his unit was caught in an ambush in Da Lat, South Vietnam. Seventeen months later, First Lt. James R. "Bob" Kalsu was killed by mortar fire while defending Ripcord Base near Vietnam's Ashua Valley.

In a letter to 26-year-old John Benien's widow, General William Westmoreland wrote in part: "Our strength and security rest on the loyalty and devotion of American soldiers who today safeguard freedom as did American soldiers in earlier times of national peril. You can treasure the thought that for his gift of life, your husband is noble among men who share the blessings of freedom."

Forty years after Westmoreland sent that letter, our country is still sending noble men and women to war, this time to fight terrorism. Some of them are former athletes like Benien and Kalsu. Many of them are not. But all of them are courageous and should never be forgotten.

If you know some of these heroes, take the time this weekend to call or write to let them know how much they mean to all of us. You won't regret it.