Tony Kornheiser.

You could pluck his kind out of any pub in the land.

What viewer hasn't thought: I know way more about football than he does.

College cornerbacks.

Their conversion from other positions has helped to revolutionize the college game.

It's why there are so many upsets.

Parity is: good quarterbacks throwing from the spread formation at short cornerbacks who played something like center in high school.

ESPN's GameDay.

No such thing on a college campus as too cheesy.

What college playoff?

Who would you invite this year, the top 24-1/2 teams?

Turnovers.

Coaches say you can't win if you turn the ball over.

See Dallas / Buffalo result.

For a unique change of pace, after a turnover: MAKE A PLAY!

Image doesn't guarantee success.

Yankess, Texas Longhorns.

Last-second time-outs.

Great stuff -- kickers should have to make two to get three points.

Anticipate a time out, miss a kick on purpose, see how that plays.

Cowboy receiver Owens.

It's always pleasant to see a bigmouth drop everything.

Larry, Curly and Moe on local sports talk radio.

Who are they exactly?

We'll tell soon. The competition is intense.

The Picks

SATURDAY

Missouri at OU (-9): Heaven on earth-substitute.

Both off huge wins, both are well ranked, both have superhero type strengths and nerve-wracking weaknesses, both could score 50; one has overconfident fans.

OU homers regard Missouri as quaint, a glorified Oklahoma State.

Nobody seems to trust the Missouri defense, including Missouri fans.

The Tigers have the best nonconference win, taking out one of Big Ten's finest (which might not be saying all that much), Illinois.

Sooners could be starting wrong runner.

OU 31, Missouri 27.

Oklahoma State at Nebraska (-3-1/2): If Callahan's job is on the line, he had better hope it is not on the defensive line.

He could be trampled.

On Cox Pay Per View, get 60 or 70 people and go in together and it should be worth it.

Nebraska's Blackshirt defense is now a paisley tank top.

OSU is in the zone, all right, upper case: Zone, Twilight.

Nebraska by 6.

Marshall at TU (-14): Marshall is considered the best 0-5 team in the country.

This is like saying Tulsa has one of the best defenses in the city.

Here's hoping the giveaway loss at UTEP isn't too costly in terms of seats.

Cheerleaders need to be ready with this chant: Timeout, timeout, timeout!

TU 40, Marshall 30.

Auburn at Arkansas (-2-1/2): Ark out of the pass revolution loop, looks like the SEC version of the Aggies.

When it comes to the Heisman, won-loss records are made to be ignored -- McFadden has to be the best player in the country. It's not his fault the rest of the team is average.

Ark longs for Big 12, would be a contender there.

Ark by 3.

Purdue at Michigan (-5): Big Ten owes the nation an apology.

Mich by 6.

Wisconsin at Penn State (-5-1/2): JoePa reminisces about the time when Wisconsin was built.

State by 4.

LSU (-9-1/2) at Kentucky: Is LSU the worst No. 1 in recent memory? Note how the question mark keeps irate fans at bay.

Has upset written all over it, LSU by 2 if at all.

The Aggies at Texas Tech (-8-1/2): Leach does Aggie fans a great big favor.

Tech 49, Aggies 24.

Colorado at Kansas State (-5-1/2): Lippy Colorado coach wonders if playing OU again would be such a good idea.

K-State by 10.

Central Florida at South Florida (-11-1/2): South Florida is an Eastern Sports Promotional Network (ESPN) invention.

Belongs 19th.

SF by 10.

SUNDAY

Cincinnati at Kansas City (-1): KC like watching paint crack.

Cincy by 4.

Minnie at Chicago (-7): Alleged coach at Minnie using league's top runner Peterson to class up sideline.

Chicago by 9.

New England (-4) at Dallas: Richochet Romo.

New England by 3.

Tennessee at Tampa (-2-1/2): Winning stats for Young: 9-for-22 for 177 yards.

Tennessee by 3.

New Orleans at Seattle (-6-1/2): Peyton place might not be as head coach.

First Sunday night clunker.

Reggie Bush owes the nation a few moves for a change.

Seattle by 10.

MONDAY

Giants (-3-1/2) at Atlanta: Maybe the song intro needs to be changed to: Are you ready for some good football?

Pass the flipper.

Giants by 3.