Here's what's wrong and right with the NBA.

Wrong:

16. Hoop season lasts through at least three climatological seasons (fall, winter, spring, almost summer)!

15. People who make free throws are congratulated.

14. People who miss free throws are congratulated.

13. The basketball can be moved to halfcourt, late, by using a timeout.

12. Aging movie stars seen only front-row at Laker games.

11. Sleazy cheerleaders.

10. Oklahoma City had a team.

9. Oklahoma City will have another team.

8. At least one zebra had crooked stripes.

7. Europeans are the only ones who can shoot.

6. LeBron cheered against the Indians.

5. Idiotic pregame introductions.

4. Court too small.

3. Stars chicken out on slam dunk contest.

2. Coaches treated like rubbish by overpaid punks.

1. Too many punks.

Right:

3. Sleazy cheerleaders.

2. Oklahoma City to have a team.

1. Charles Barkley and the TNT pre- and postgame crew.

The Picks

SATURDAY

Texas A&M at OU (-21): The Aggies run a true throwback offense, pitching the ball backward in the hideous option attack with more skill than they pitch it forward as a pass.

If you're one of those who has a couple of brewskis and wonders why the option is no longer a part of the successful college football landscape, here's why: the quarterback gets stomped into the landscape.

Will the game of musical halfbacks continue for OU?

Will the OU quarterback move his feet?

Will Stoops take Frannie's cheap shot about NCAA violations like a champ, and counter-attack?

Aggies run the Nebraska four corners.

Point spread hard to debate much: OU by 24.

Texas (-3) at Oklahoma State: This one is pretty simple.

Oklahoma State is better.

Will it get stage fright in one of its rare network TV appearances and choke?

Enough with running the Cowboy quarterback all over the field. He only has two shoulders. You're not trying to win state here. You're trying to go big-time.

OSU by 3.

Tulsa (-7) at Tulane: TU's defense is said to be much-maligned.

The press didn't malign it.

Foes did.

TU is something of a firing machine: lose to Tulsa, fire coach.

TU by 4.

South Carolina at Arkansas (-5): Only Nutt could out-twitch Spurrier -- these are the two most nervous sidelines in college football history.

Nutt fights for job.

Spurrier fights for praise.

SC by 2.

Nebraska at Kansas (-17-1/2): TV's cavemen have better job security than Callahan.

Feeding frenzy on corn flakes, KU by 24.

LSU (-7) at Alabama: Nation watches to see if Les is a genius or simply wacky.

Media mouths continue to love LSU for no obvious reasons.

Talk about brilliant: Saban bailed on the Dolphins!

Alabama by 3.

Arizona State at Oregon (-7): Sooner fans can't lose here.

Oregon by 13.

Wisconsin at Ohio State (-16): That's not slo-mo.

That's Wisconsin.

Ohio State by 17.

Missouri (-4-1/2) at Colorado: The rumor of how tough Kansas is appears to have frightened Missouri.

Missouri by 1.

Florida State at Boston College (-8): Bowden makes JoePa seem athletic by comparison.

BC by 7.

SUNDAY

Green Bay at Kansas City (-2-1/2): Have to hand it to Favre.

He saw how bad most of the league was, came back.

KC by 3.

Jacksonville at New Orleans (-3): Saints no longer schlepping in.

NO by 4.

New England (-5) at Indianapolis: First and best of two or three Super games this year -- this one is for home field all the way.

With regard to the point spread, three things seem to have an equal chance of happening:

1. New England runs away with it.

2. New England wins a close one.

3. Indy scores the upset.

The game is not the match made in heaven that it is purported to be because of a third party: Announcer Phil Simms, who never met a mindless thought he didn't speak.

The man can almost be heard through the Mute button.

NE by 3.

Dallas (-3) at the Eagles: Luck tells the tale.

Eagles by 3.

MONDAY

Steelers (-7-1/2) at Baltimore: Color announcer Tony "Can of" Kornheiser challenges Simms for most number of words babbled during an NFL game: 61,500.

Steelers by 9.