When I first started working for a newspaper in the 1970s, I used to keep a clip file of unusual or funny church signs. I never knew if I would ever use it, but I did anyway.
That file has long since disappeared, but I scoured the Internet recently and found 20 that might cause you to think or maybe bring a smile to your face.
Here we go:
• The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
• What section would you prefer in the afterlife? Smoking or non-smoking?
• Acting perfect in church is like dressing up for an x-ray.
• Tweet others as you would like to be tweeted.
• Don’t give up! Moses was once a basket case.
• Honk, if you love Jesus. Text while driving, if you want to meet him.
• God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
• The best vitamin for a believer is B1.
• Call 911; our pastor is on fire!
• Lord, help us be the people our dogs think we are.
• Less hate, more pancakes.
• Don’t make me come down there — God.
• How do we make Holy water? We boil the Hell out of it.
• Church parking only. Violators will be baptized.
• Trust in God, but lock your car.
• Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your bible.
• I hate this church — Satan.
• What happens in Vegas is forgiven here.
• What could this sign say to get you here on Sunday?
• Adam and Eve: The first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions.